the manly handbook
After a dozen reads, I still laugh at this practical reference to masculinity. I lost my first copy to one of my drinking buddies, so I was in good hands (or so I thought). My second copy has been carefully guarded for several years in case I have to review manly behavior…such as sleeping stiffly on your back, with one eye open, or face down in a drunken state, hang-gliding in enemy territory, or canoeing through rough waters. and being attacked by depraved hillbillies.
The Man’s Manual will reteach you everything you need to know about food (anything fried or with additives), grooming (your own sweat is deodorant), dating (any girl on the jukebox is hitting on you ), philosophy (“a man has to do, what a man has to do”, “What does it matter to you?”), your best friend (your car), respect your mother (let her prepare your food), history (the life of Ghengis Khan, the Alamo), and entertainment (for example, Mickey Spillane novels).
If you’ve had enough of feminist attitudes, communist propaganda, metrosexuals and Richard Simmons, well then mate, you need to get your hands on a copy of The Manly Handbook. I mean ditch that quiche and bean sprouts and daytime TV like now, soldier. Any meal that is not spent eating red-tinted red meat, pork rinds, and scrambled eggs is simply weak. Any time not spent in his car, bending his elbows at the bar, or watching a Sam Peckinpah movie is a wasted man’s life. So, catch up on the good stuff and read this book.
