Anyone who has ever loved a narcissist wonders, “Does he really love me?” “Does she appreciate me?” They are torn between their love and their pain, between staying or going, but they can’t seem to do either. Some use that they are loved; others are convinced that they are not. It’s confusing, because sometimes they experience the caring person they love, whose company is a joy, only to be followed by behavior that makes them feel unimportant or inadequate. Narcissists claim to love their family and partners, but do they?

how a narcissist loves

Narcissists can show passion in the early stages of dating. But that kind of passion, according to Jungian analyst Robert Johnson, “is always directed at our own projections, our own expectations, our own fantasies… It’s not a love for another person, but for ourselves.” Such relationships provide positive attention and sexual satisfaction to support a narcissist’s ego and self-esteem. For most narcissists, their relationships are transactional. His goal is to enjoy pleasure without compromise. (Campbell, et al.) They are playing a game, and the goal is to win. They are attractive and energetic and possess an emotional intelligence that helps them perceive, express, understand and manage emotions. (Dellic, et al., 2011) This helps them manipulate people to win their love and admiration. They boast of being respected, loved and gratified. Also, their good social skills allow them to make a good initial first impression. They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are skilled and persuasive lovers and can have many conquests but remain single. Some narcissists lie and/or practice love bombing overwhelming their prey with verbal, physical and material expressions of love.

Narcissists lose interest as the expectation of intimacy increases or when they have won at their game. Many have trouble maintaining a relationship for more than six months to a few years. They prioritize power over intimacy and detest vulnerability, which they consider weak. To maintain control, they avoid closeness and prefer dominance and superiority over others. The game therefore strikes the perfect balance of meeting your needs and keeping your options open to flirt or date multiple partners.

A sudden breakup can be traumatic for your ex, who is taken aback by your unexpected change of heart: proposing one minute, then dating the next. They feel confused, crushed, discarded, and betrayed. Had the relationship continued, they would have eventually seen through the narcissist’s seductive guise.

Some narcissists are pragmatic in their approach to relationships and focus on their goals. They may also develop positive feelings towards their partner, but more based on friendship and shared interests. If they do get married, they lack the motivation to maintain their romantic facade and use defenses to avoid closeness. They become cold, judgmental, and angry, especially when challenged or when they don’t get their way. They are likely to support their spouse’s needs and desires only when it is inconvenient and their ego is satisfied. After devaluing their partner, they need to look elsewhere to prop up their inflated ego.

The challenges for a narcissist

True love is not romance, and it is not codependency. For Aristotle and Saint Thomas Aquinas, it is “willing the good of another”. In The Psychology of Romantic Love Nathaniel Branden states that “To love a human being is to know and love his person. (1980, p. 50) It is a union of two individuals, which requires us to see another person as separate from ourselves. Furthermore, in The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm (1945) emphasizes that love implies an effort to develop knowledge, responsibility and commitment. Pleasure in her happiness and trying not to hurt her.

When we love, we show an active concern for their life and growth. We try to understand your experience and world view, even though it may differ from ours. Caring involves offering attention, respect, support, compassion and acceptance. We must dedicate the necessary time and discipline. Romantic love can turn into love, but narcissists are not motivated to really know and understand others. (Ritter, et al.)

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, narcissists lack empathy. They are “unwilling to acknowledge or identify with the feelings and needs of others.” (APA, 2013) Research shows that they have structural abnormalities in brain regions associated with emotional empathy. (Schulze, et al. 2013) Therefore, their ability to respond emotionally appropriately and express care and concern is significantly impaired.

Narcissists have several obstacles to love. First, they do not see themselves or others clearly. First, they experience people as extensions of themselves, rather than as separate individuals with different needs, desires, and feelings. Second, they overestimate their own emotional empathy (Ritter, et al). Third, your defenses distort your perceptions and interactions with others. They brag and withdraw to control closeness and vulnerability, project unwanted negative aspects of themselves onto others, and use denial, entitlement, and narcissistic abuse, including blame, contempt, criticism, and aggression, to protect themselves from shame. Perfectionist narcissists callously despise others and may attempt to destroy adversaries to maintain their illusion of perfection. All of these issues affect the ability of narcissists to accurately take in another person’s reality, including that person’s love for them. In fact, the emotional intelligence of narcissists helps them manipulate and exploit others to get what they want, while their impaired emotional empathy numbs them to the pain they inflict.

Can we measure love?

Love is difficult to measure, but research shows that people feel love expressed by: 1) words of affirmation, 2) spending quality time, 3) giving gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical contact.. (Goff, et al. 2007) Another study revealed that participants also felt loved by a partner who: 1) showed interest in their affairs; 2) gave them emotional and moral support; (3) intimate facts revealed; 4) expressed feelings for them, such as “I’m happy when I’m around you”; and 5) tolerated their demands and shortcomings to maintain the relationship. (Swenson, 1992, p. 92)

Conclusion

People who love narcissists are hungry for many of these expressions of love. Sometimes narcissists are remote, dismissive, or aggressive; other times, they show interest and concern and are helpful. It’s not that narcissists are incapable of feeling or even intellectually understanding someone’s feelings. The problem appears to be rooted in childhood trauma and physiological deficits that affect emotional appraisal, reflection, and proper empathic expression. (Unconscious or unexpressed: “I love you, but”); Expressed: “I’m too busy to go to the hospital” sounds rather cold, but may not reflect the narcissist’s love for the hospitalized person. When the importance of a visit is explained to them, they may make the trip.

They can show love when they are motivated. Their love is conditional, depending on the impact on the narcissist. Narcissism exists on a continuum from mild to malignant, when severe, selfishness and inability to express love become more apparent when higher demands are placed on a narcissist. Dating or long-distance relationships that have fewer expectations are easier.

Bottom line Wondering if a narcissist loves you is the wrong question. Although it is wise to understand the mind of a narcissist, like Echo in the Narcissus myth, couples focus too much on the narcissist to their detriment. Instead, ask yourself if you feel valued, respected, and loved. Are you meeting your needs? If not, how is that affecting you and your self-esteem and what can you do about it?

© Darlene Lancer 2018

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Arlington, VA.: American Psychiatric Publications.

Branden, N. (1980). The psychology of romantic love. Los Angeles: J.P. Tarcher, Inc.

Campbell, WK, Finkel, EJ, & Foster, CA (2002). Does self-love lead to love for others? A narcissistic game story. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(2), 340-354.

Delic, A., Novak, P., Kovacic, J. & Avsec, A. (2011). Self-reported emotional and social intelligence and empathy as distinctive predictors of narcissism”. Psychological Themes 20(3), 477-488.

Fromm, E., (1956). the art of Loving. New York: Harper & Brothers Publishers.

Goff, BG, Goddard, HW, Pointer, L. & Jackson, GB (2007). Measures of expressions of love. Psychological reports, 101, 357-360.

Johnson, R.A. (1945). We, understanding the psychology of romantic love. San Francisco: Harper & Row Publisher.

Lancer, D.A. (2017). “I’m not perfect, I’m only human” – How to beat perfectionism. Los Angeles: Carousel Books.

Lancer, D.A. (2014). Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Unleash the Real You. Downtown: Hazelden Foundation.

Ritter, K., et al. (2010). Lack of empathy in patients with narcissistic personality disorder, Research in Psychiatry.

Schultze, L., et al. (2013). Gray matter abnormalities in patients with narcissistic personality disorder. psychiatric research47(10), 1363-1369.

Swenson, C. (1972). The Behavior of Love. In HA Otto (Ed.) love today (pp. 86-101). New York: Dell Publishing.

Hair is invariably one of the most defining elements of our body. Healthy hair is the sign of a healthy body and adds a lot to a person’s personality. Almost everyone experiences hair loss at some point in their lives. Known as alopecia in medical parlance, hair loss is often the sign of some underlying disease and can be quite distressing. The use of Ayurvedic treatment has proven to be quite successful in preventing hair fall and giving you beautiful and healthy hair.

In Ayurveda, hair is considered a tissue that uses the same nutrients as bone and is formed as a byproduct of bone tissue. Hair types have been classified according to the three basic body types: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha.

• Vata Body Type: Hair generally dark, coarse, coarse, inky, and frizzy

• Pitta body type: usually brown, blond, fair, fine and silky

• Kapha body type: usually dark or light, thick, heavy, wavy, and slightly oily

What is the cause for hair loss?

The metabolic processing of the food we eat produces nutrient plasma, which nourishes the hair. According to Ayurveda, excess pitta dosha (heat) in the body is the main cause of hair problems. Some of the common reasons for hair loss are:

• Hormonal imbalances: A high concentration of dihydrotestosterone (DHT) in the hair follicles of men or women, both during pregnancy and after childbirth, can cause hair loss.

• Sometimes high amounts of sebum on the scalp clog the pores in the scalp and prevent nutrients from reaching the hair follicle, leading to hair loss.

• Inadequate nutrition or unhealthy diet

• Stress, worry, lack of sleep and anxiety

• Long-standing illnesses like typhoid fever, viral infections, anemia, surgery, etc., cause general weakness leading to hair loss.

• Some medications, such as birth control pills, antidepressants, etc., including those used for gout, during cancer chemotherapy, etc., cause hair loss.

• Forcefully tying the hair pulls the hair out of the follicles and causes traction alopecia.

• Dandruff or fungal infection of the scalp

• Dirt buildup on the scalp blocks pores and weakens hair roots. This leads to hair fall.

How can hair loss be prevented?

Hair loss can usually be prevented by using basic Ayurvedic home remedies and treatments. Only aggravated cases require the expertise of a doctor. Follow these simple steps and you will see the difference they make in the health of your hair.

• Ayurvedic treatments always target the root of any problem and try to cure it completely. To prevent hair loss, it is essential that you identify the root cause in your diet or lifestyle that is triggering your pitta dosha. Once you know what is causing the problem, try giving up or at least reducing the diet, habit, or activity responsible for the increased pitta.

• To clean the hair, it is advisable to use a natural shampoo or soap that is not loaded with too many chemicals.

• Lubrication and scalp massage are very beneficial in preventing hair loss. You should use coconut oil or mustard oil at least three times in a week. Certain medicated oils like Mahabhringraj oil, Amla oil, and Arnica oil are also very helpful.

• After washing your hair, rub the scalp vigorously. This helps increase blood circulation and activates the sebaceous glands.

• You can induce hair growth by applying a licorice paste (made by grinding it into milk) on bald spots. The paste made from lemon seeds and black pepper can also be applied to bald spots.

• Be sure to eat raw vegetables, fresh fruits, salads, and green leafy vegetables regularly.

• The use of relaxation techniques like yoga, pranayama, etc., can be quite effective in overcoming stress, anxiety and insomnia, the most common causes of hair loss in today’s competitive world.

• Try to avoid hairstyles that pull on the hair and consequently damage it.

People around the world are increasingly relying on alternative treatments like Ayurveda to cure basic, everyday problems like hair loss. Home remedies prescribed by Ayurveda are easy to do, affordable and without any side effects. Jiva Ayurveda is one of the leading organizations providing Ayurvedic treatment for the prevention of hair loss and other diseases and conditions.

We call him Bhaiya which means ‘Brother’; The official name of him is Vijay Kumar Deutale, originally from Nagpur in Maharashtra. He was tall, slender, bespectacled, and a beard with an efficient gray tinge. He had a baritone that was always pleasant and soothing to the ears. I don’t remember him ever getting angry or raising his voice. He was always smiling, sometimes bursting with pure flowing laughter and joy. We had known Bhaiya since 2003, and all these years he had been our spiritual guru, family friend, and philosopher-guide in everything he chose to talk about us or ask him to answer our probing questions. It tears our hearts and souls to say that it no longer exists.

Vijay Kumar Deutale worked as a civil engineer in the Maharashtra government. In a quest to further explore life and the meaning of life, he voluntarily retired a few years ago and began to do his personal work more intensively along with a stint at a private construction company in Dubai for some time. He then returned to India and around 2017-18 started experimenting with the drug supply chain. He had been progressing well in this vein, working mostly online, keeping only a very limited number of close associates. Also during the period of confinement, he went ahead with his online activities, perhaps just missing his daily outings, mainly to his closest friends who had been the beneficiaries of him: in terms of guidance and spiritual advice.

Like Gautama Buddha, Bhaiya also left his family and relatives at a very young age, took the course of meditation and spiritualism, and made a success of his life on his own; only he never married. His parents and siblings never approved of his ways and, in a way, completely disowned him. Bhaiya had been living alone ever since, and succeeded in his materialistic career as a civil engineer when he bought his own apartment in a suburb of central Mumbai a few years ago, and had been living there alone ever since.

He was all in his divine elements, like a living god, and was actively mentoring and guiding his limited friends/partners/colleagues when a mutual friend introduced us to Bhaiya in Mumbai. In the days after the presentation we used to feel his presence constantly with us, and particularly during the nights he felt him walking around our house, perhaps to study us in every detail. He confirmed his out-of-body experiments when I asked him about his nocturnal rounds. With the help of my rather intuitive nature and active alpha thinking, I began to have ethereal-type experiences: Bhaiya helped me delve into people’s minds or even bodies, the ones we are concerned with, to find what was wrong, reading wordless messages given by living people in various ways, sensing the presence of good or evil spirits at times, and finding out what the immediate future holds for us or our friends and relatives. Whenever we asked him about our future or the justification of certain future plans, he would close his eyes partially, fluttering his eyelids, and then he would begin a continuous advising and prediction of the future, never ready-made solutions, but forms subject to severe conditions or dedicated efforts. Truly spiritual, he never recommended stones or jewelry or talismans or anything to wear.

Vijay Kumar Deutale began his own technique of spiritualism and meditation thanks to his tireless forays into this mysterious and invisible sphere. The extreme push of him was to remove negativity from the body and mind, making the body and soul pure. He never cared about what people eat or wear, but he emphasized proper meditation to remove negativity. His meditation technique consisted of mantras selected, depending on the people under consideration, to be chanted for a designated period of time, preferably every day. The singing can be loud at first; with practitioners gaining proficiency, chanting can be just moving the lips, and in the ultimate desirable goal, chanting should be done silently, without even moving the lips. Depending on the goals in the life of the practitioners, there may be goals such as health or success at work/projects or in relationships assigned to the mantras, which means that the positive energy emitted through chanting can be channeled to achieve goals. Such goals can be realized by making certain promises to be assigned to the chanting of the mantra.

His technique was fraught with grave dangers. Bhaiya used to tell us that if someone manages to remove negativity from him, all that negative force bounces back on him, the originator of the process. We were horrified by this fact: the kind of negativity he must have on himself thanks to all the beneficiaries of it. Of course, at his supreme level of spirituality, he was quite capable of ditching such forces with ease. Yet another fact remained. The negative forces impacted his physical body. For a couple of years, he was dealing with a persistent problem in his left leg up to the thigh, constant swelling and pain. He said that this was due to all the forces that he had been receiving in himself. Perhaps, this integral part of his method partially explained why his physical body ceased to exist so suddenly.

Vijay Kumar Deutale was also aware of this probability. On several occasions he told us that his divine guru, somewhere in the Himalayas, sent him errands, what to do or whom to enlighten next. Coming to us, he said, was a divine message and this was perhaps one of the last errands he had left. As evidenced by events that happened some years after our initiation, Bhaiya began to gradually reduce his divine/counseling practices, stopping them almost completely after his voluntary retirement and his stints in various earthly jobs. On many occasions too, he used to warn us that he might suddenly disappear at any time and therefore we or all people enlightened by him should try to utilize the knowledge of him fully and quickly.

Yes, we were in awe of his immense knowledge of almost anything. Without any formal restrictions on music, I used to tell my wife Ragini about the deepest and most intricate things in music: in all its forms, from the purest classical to the most modern, theories or practice or whatever. She also wrote devotional lyrics to be tuned and sung. Unfortunately, like most normal human beings, we had not been able to benefit fully from his knowledge: in many respects we could not follow his path devoutly and in many practical works we could not proceed as he wished. However, only his physical self is gone, we still hope to continue gaining the knowledge and wisdom of his ethereal self.

On the night of June 13, 2020, she felt unwell with severe stomach pain and informed her closest associate, a doctor based in Nagpur. As per the doctor’s instructions, a neighbor admitted him to a Mumbai hospital. Doctors there reportedly found a hole in his intestines and a septic tank that was spreading throughout his body, affecting every organ. He had to receive respiratory assistance a day later. He passed away on June 16, 2020. No clinical theory can explain his passing. He left the physical form of him by divine commands.

And we found out about this four months later, through the same mutual friend who introduced him to us in 2003. It is now believed that he gave instructions not to inform anyone except a certain family of his death. This was probably due to the fact that he felt the misery of those close to him during the prolonged confinement, and he never wanted to distress or depress them further for as long as possible.

Vijay Kumar Deutale, Bhaiya, had been a down to earth person, never resorting to the luxuries of life and always lived like a common man. He never lived off the divine progress from it or made money from it; he traveled to everyone’s house whenever they asked him to, taking the local trains or the city buses. And he had always been averse to publicity, and he asked us to never create any kind of publicity about his activities and powers. This directive from the spiritual guru put me in an existential dilemma: to tell people about him or not. He wanted to tell his story, desperately. Perhaps, in my meditation one morning, after a very long rest, there was an abstract communication with his soul that seemed to allow me to reach my goal. People, perhaps a limited number of them, should know him and be inspired by his life. He is a celebrity in the field of spiritualism, a silent crusader, and I am privileged to be able to tell people about him.

From the correspondence I receive, I discover that there is a perception that a man who cheats on his wife will stop having sex with her. Sometimes I get letters from “the other woman” asking me if he should believe a husband who claims that he is no longer intimate with his wife. I’m not sure why, but this is usually very important to her. She might say, “The guy I’ve been dating has told me he didn’t sleep with his wife for six months before he met me and hasn’t slept with her since we got together. They have kids, which is the only reason he’s staying. However, I have a friend who’s also friends with his wife. And she says she wouldn’t be surprised if they still have sex because they both act normal and somewhat loving when they’re together. She said she just saw them holding hands walking around the neighborhood. Me?”

Along the same lines of thought, a wife may suspect that her husband is cheating on her, but eventually decide that he probably isn’t because their sex life is still active and pretty good. She might assume that since the husband has good, frequent sex at home, then she has nothing to worry about in the infidelity department. She might say, “My husband has been away from home a lot more than usual lately. He works late. He goes out. He answers more phone calls than usual and takes them places where I can’t hear what he’s saying. I would suspect him of cheating, except for the fact that we’re still having great sex.”

From my observation and experience, these assumptions are not always correct. Many men who have affairs continue to have sex with their wives without anything changing or appearing to be friends. In fact, sometimes the sex is more frequent or even better while he’s having the affair. He may do this to avoid suspicion or he may do it because he is still involved in his marriage and still very attracted to his wife.

In fact, it is my opinion that most men never intended to leave their wife and still do not while the affair is active. So for them, nothing is going to change. And because of that, there is no reason to stop having sex. Sure, very convincingly they tell the other woman that they want to or they are going to leave. They will tell you that they are married in name only and have not been intimate in years. They tell you these things even when they are not true because they want to make it easier for you to cheat. They don’t want her to identify with her wife or for her to realize that she is in a relationship with no real future.

Frankly, it’s not fair to the other woman. They are lies that they are telling you. But this scenario is very common and many “other women” eventually put two and two together and realize they are being lied to. And many wives eventually find evidence of cheating and have to face reality even when their sex life still seems active and wonderful.

So the answer to the question is yes, men very often continue to have good, meaningful sex with their spouses while they are having an active affair. That’s wrong. And he mixed things up. And often the wife and the other woman don’t understand this because women are less likely to understand how you can have sex with two people.

I don’t really have a definitive answer on this because I couldn’t pull this off either. When I love someone, I could never be unfaithful. But obviously, as a woman, I don’t think or act like a man. From the correspondence I receive, it seems pretty clear, at least to me, that men are much better at separating the two relationships and compartmentalizing their feelings and thoughts. If I were the one having an affair, I’d be so paralyzed with conflict and guilt, but some men can juggle quite convincingly.

Again, this is just my opinion, but if I was dating a married man and he told me he wasn’t having sex with his wife, I would have serious doubts about it. From my observation, most of the time, this is simply not true. Most likely, two people under one roof and in one bed with a shared commitment have sex. Many men tell the other woman that they sleep on the couch or in the spare bedroom. This is often not true either.

And many wives want to believe that as long as she’s having sex with him, he doesn’t need to look elsewhere. The truth is, she’s getting a different payoff from this than just the sex. He often uses adventure as a way to feel better about himself. Sex often has a lot less to do with it than people think.

Are you psychic?

Whether you want to develop psychic abilities in the form of telepathy (communicating through thought), clairvoyance (seeing the future), psychokinesis (moving things with your mind), or extrasensory perception (ESP: knowing things intuitively), they all have one thing in common… developing your subconscious mind.

Psychic abilities do not come from the logical, critical conscious mind; They emerge from the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is that part of you that governs your unintentional beliefs, thoughts, values, and actions. For example, if you sit down to design something, solve a math problem, paint a picture, or even read a book, you are using your conscious mind; you are doing something deliberately on purpose.

However, when you get lost in the story of a book you’re reading, or when you’ve been driving and can’t remember actually seeing the road for the last 5 minutes, your subconscious takes over. When you daydream or do something simply out of habit, you are using your subconscious mind.

When you use or develop these abilities, you are tapping into something that your conscious mind does not control. Therefore, the only way to develop psychic abilities is by harnessing the power of your subconscious mind.

Now, here’s the secret to developing your abilities quickly… the fastest, easiest, and most effective way to program your subconscious mind, change your habits, or tap into your subconscious’ latent abilities is through hypnosis.

Hypnosis…whether performed by a hypnotist or using self-hypnosis recordings…is simply a relaxation technique in which your analytical conscious mind is temporarily set aside so that you or the hypnotist can communicate directly with your subconscious.

And since your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between real experiences and imagined experiences (such as dreams and daydreams), your subconscious will accept what it’s told and take action to make it come true. Your beliefs, thoughts and habits will change and you will be able to tap into the psychic power residing in everyone’s subconscious mind.

Unfortunately, not everyone can be hypnotized. You may be one of the small percentage of people who cannot be hypnotized. If you’re interested in developing psychic abilities, you should first verify that you can be hypnotized… not only because it’s the quickest and easiest way to develop these abilities, but also because anyone who can’t be hypnotized probably can’t take advantage of their psychic abilities either.

Do you wonder if you can really be hypnotized? Would you like to find out right now?

Do you have oily skin, continually feel the need to wash your face, and wish you could find a way to make those pores look smaller?

You and millions of other people with oily skin are in the same boat. Mind you, oily skin doesn’t get lines and wrinkles as fast or as deep as people with dry skin… So that has to be a plus, although it probably won’t make you feel better about your oily skin problem, right?

Oily skin is often associated with acne, however here we will focus on the classic oily skin type and look at the causes and solutions for oily skin.

Oily skin can be the result of several causes:

1. Hereditary
2. Dietary
3. Hormone levels; Age (puberty/adolescence, menopause/change of life, etc.); Morning after pill; Other medicines
4. The pregnancy
5. Cosmetics and/or skin care products that you are currently using
6. Climate

Oily skin may well be in your genes. People from the Mediterranean, some Asian and Middle Eastern countries can inherit oily skin from their parents. This is a genetic mechanism to help protect your skin from the high radiation of the sun. However, if you have inherited this type of fur, but do not live in the climate for which it was designed, this can be a problem and needs to be addressed.

Diet can be both the cause and the solution for oily skin. Eating greasy and oily foods will eventually lead to oily skin. It is the fat content of the diet (and the sugar that is converted to fat) that ends up on the surface of the skin and is a relatively easy cause to fix. Fix your diet and you’ll fix your oily skin.

Hormonal changes, especially during adolescence and the changing years of life, can cause oily skin, often associated with acne. Similarly, pregnancy, during which hormones change drastically, can lead to oily skin. This usually resolves soon after giving birth, the menopause has passed, or once the adolescent’s body reaches maturity.

However, often the very products you are using are the reason for your oily skin. They can be cosmetic products or products for the skin and personal care.

Products for personal use, such as soaps, are especially “dangerous.” The reason why soap is a no-no when it comes to oily skin is that the soap you use to wash your face will initially remove the oil, but it will also dry out your skin, causing your skin to overreact and produce excess oil which is then secreted onto the skin’s surface and whoops, you have oily skin again. This is a condition known as reactive seborrhea.

Another factor that can lead to oily skin is the climate in which you live. Hot and humid weather can make your skin oily.

Many people have fatty areas on one area of ​​the face, but other areas may well be normal or dry. This is known as combination skin. Often the oily area is on the

Zone T. That is the area covered by the forehead, the nasal section and the chin. However, you may only have oily skin in one of these areas or on another part of your face. Regardless of where your oily skin is located, you will need to address the cause to fix it.

How to fix your oily skin

It’s okay, you can’t do much with the genes you’ve inherited, or the fact that you’re pregnant or going through a change in your hormonal balance. But it can still help your skin function at a more “normal” level. You can influence how oily your skin is, and you can take steps to normalize your skin’s oil secretions.

Let’s take a step-by-step look at how you can normalize your skin.

Basic steps applicable to all causes of oily skin type:

1. Wash your face no more than 2 times a day. Doing so will likely overstimulate your skin and this will cause it to produce more oil, not the result you want.
2. Use hot water to wash your face. Hot water is best for dissolving the oil. Cold and lukewarm water just don’t work as well.
3. DO NOT use commercial soaps to wash your face. These types of soaps will dry out the skin and again this will cause the skin to produce more oil to protect itself against the drying effect caused by the soap.
4. Eat a healthy diet. What is a healthy diet? Simple, use fresh, unprocessed fruits and vegetables; do not use food that has been pre-prepared and/or preserved; Do not eat junk food. Stay away from high-fat foods.
5. Drink plenty of clean, fresh water (minimum 2 liters per day).

The next step is to choose the right type of skin care products. Yeah, it’s a little more difficult than just buying a cleanser and moisturizer that smells good and hopefully helps your oily skin.

1. Only buy natural and organic skin and personal care products. There are many reasons for this, but suffice it to say: why put more garbage in your body than is necessary?
2. Take a good look at the ingredients. You will want to look for ingredients that will benefit your oily skin type. Therefore, look for the following essential oils:

• lemon
• lemon scented tea tree,
• Wonderful,
• lavender,
• jojoba,
• Lawyer,
• Bergamot
• orange flower,
• Rosemary,
• witch hazel,
• juniper berry,
• Mint,
• Grapefruit,
• niaouli and
• Sweet orange.

Many of these essential oils specifically help normalize sebum production.

One of the biggest problems with oily skin is that the excess oil that is produced tends to clog the pores and lead to bacterial growth (acne) and/or oil oxidation (blackheads).

So looking at this as a 3 step process:

1. Follow a daily skin care regimen:

• Cleanse your facial skin with warm water and/or a natural (alcohol-free) cleanser that contains essential oils and herbs to help remove oxidized natural oils and makeup residue. This will leave your skin feeling fresh and clean.
• Use a natural toner to help remove any remaining cleanser and close open pores. This prevents further moisture loss and, by closing the pores, prevents bacteria and other microbes from entering the open pores.
• Even if you have oily skin, you should use a light moisturizer that contains oils like jojoba or avocado as the main ingredient.
• There is one more thing you will need to do: use a clay face mask twice a week. Use green clay as it is the most drawing out of the clays and will help oily skin the most. Then follow with the above cleansing, toning and moisturizing.

2. Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water.

3. Exercise

• This step is important because regular exercise will promote increased blood circulation helping to nourish your skin, while providing a better blood supply to your skin’s surface. Sweating (and additional water consumption) will help flush toxins from your skin pores, but remember to increase your water intake by at least 0.5 liters on days you exercise.

Every morning is a challenge for busy women: run around the house to prepare breakfast, finish other office tasks and much more. So how about your beauty routine? You may be skipping it. Oh no! That’s not good if you’re doing it. Especially when it comes to your skin care, you need to pay close attention. Lack of skin care can lead to dull skin, aging, acne breakouts, and other negative effects.

Therefore, we have searched for skin care tips that a busy woman like you can follow to ensure that you will have an easy and effective skin care routine.

1. Wash your face every morning. Use with a mild cleanser. First of all, know your skin type before using your daily facial cleanser to avoid negative effects. If you have dry skin, use a non-foaming facial cleanser. For oily skin, use a mild facial foam. For sensitive acne-prone skin, select an acne-fighting cleanser.
2. Use toner. Not all facial cleansers carefully clean away the trail of oil and dirt. That is why it is better to use toner. Use a cotton pad and apply the toner on your skin and you will see that it will clean the dirt and residue left behind by the face wash. When you tone, the pores shrink, which prevents acne and blackheads from forming. Just remember, always use an alcohol-free toner.
3. hydrate All skin types need hydration. Also, if you need to go out in the morning or during the day, don’t forget to apply sunscreen. For the busy woman, choose a multi-purpose product that has sun protection, hydration, and is also used as a foundation. Products like BB and CC creams can be your best friends. They act as a serum, moisturizer, foundation, primer, and most of all, as a sunscreen with SPF.
4. Always carry facial wipes or facial cleansing sprays with your accessories. Whether you have oily, dry, or combination skin, everyone has to deal with oil and sweat. In case your job requires you to spend a lot of time in the sun (if you’re working in the fields, for example), always carry a bottle of sunscreen in your bag. Apply every 2-3 hours afterwards.
5. When you come home from work all day, you may feel awful and look haggard. Imagine that sweaty, oily, tired face…it doesn’t look very good, does it? Wash your face with a facial cleanser, and then use a toner. In addition, you can also spray some rose water to refresh yourself instantly.
6. Here is a bedtime skincare routine for you. Wash your face with a mild cleanser half an hour before bed. Or you can just clean your face with baby wipes. Apply your night cream and gently massage it into your face. You can also use a good, mild eye cream. The best night cream is the one that is rich in antioxidants and other anti-aging ingredients. Most importantly, get a restful and complete sleep. This is because our cell repair occurs during our sleep.

Additional Tips for Busy Women to Keep Skin Glowing and Healthy

Why do you need to exfoliate?

As we age, our skin constantly renews itself and removes dead skin cells. Accelerated exfoliation can help us achieve a brighter skin tone. No need to exfoliate daily. But it is important to do this at least twice a week. Exfoliating aster, tonic and moisturizing use.

What about the face mask? You can prepare and put on your face mask while preparing your breakfast or lunch. That is, you can still do some household chores while wearing your mask.

To keep healthy skin in your busy schedule, here are additional things to remember:

– Drink warm water and lemon juice as a detox to start the day.

– Avoid junk food. Instead, eat fresh, organic fruits and green, leafy vegetables. They are full of antioxidants and nutrients.

– Be sure to rehydrate yourself by drinking 6 to 8 glasses of water a day.

– Have a good night and sleep. Nothing can replace that as the best form of rest.

– Use natural ingredients for your mask. Do a search on avocado, for example.

– Have a moisturizer and lip balm in your bag, as well as moisturizer, especially if you are working inside an air-conditioned room.

Do you know more skin care tips? Feel free to share.

Do you know someone who experiences digestive problems like Crohn’s disease or celiac disease? Or maybe osteoporosis, blood clot problems, excessive bruising, or menstrual pain? With all the hype in recent years to get more calcium and vitamin D, keep an eye out for more research and recommendations for getting more vitamin K.

How does vitamin K help? Vitamin K is a fat-soluble, anti-inflammatory vitamin that has many health benefits, including aiding in blood clotting, calcium absorption, digestive health, menstrual pain relief, bone strength and integrity. and arteries, and brain function. It can help digestive conditions like ulcerative colitis by increasing blood flow and oxygenation to tissues and cells. Helps with heavy menstrual cycles and nosebleeds by helping blood to clot. Helps prevent calcification (arteriosclerosis) and the formation of fatty deposits (atherosclerosis) in the walls of blood vessels, helping to reduce the incidence of heart attacks and strokes. Vitamin K may also help reduce the risk of osteoporosis by reducing osteoclastic activity, which breaks down bone. Increasing your calcium intake is great for strengthening your bones, but it’s a problem for your arteries, which can calcify. Taking vitamin K protects the integrity of the blood vessel walls from calcification when too much calcium is produced in the body, and it can also help with varicose veins.

What is the difference between vitamin K1 and vitamin K2? Of the two vitamin derivatives, vitamin K1 is readily available in the United States without a prescription, and vitamin K2 is available only by prescription. Vitamin K1 is used in babies in many hospitals to prevent bleeding and helps prevent calcification of arteries and veins, and helps strengthen bones. Vitamin K2 is produced by bacteria in the digestive tract and is often excreted through the body with very little absorption. The human body has the innate ability to convert vitamin K1 to K2.

Where is it located? Vitamin K is available in many foods, especially leafy green vegetables and cruciferous vegetables. In order from highest to lowest concentration: kale, spinach, mustard and kale, Swiss chard, turnip greens, parsley, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, and romaine lettuce. Vitamin K2 is found in fermented foods and in a popular Japanese breakfast made with fermented soybeans.

How much should you take? Opinions differ about the proper dosage if you decide to take a vitamin K supplement. It is important to take vitamin K with fat-soluble foods and along with vitamin D for the best effect. It is recommended to take between 50 and 180 mcg of vitamin K1 per day for adults, and sometimes more if dark green leafy vegetables and cruciferous vegetables are not eaten regularly. In general, the Institute of Medicine recommends that men need at least 120 mcg per day and women at least 90 mcg per day. If you are taking prescription anticoagulant and blood-thinning medications, such as warfarin gold Coumadinor have any other health problems, check with your doctor first before considering vitamin K supplementation.

Vitamin K has many health benefits, and its importance to health is little publicized, compared to bigger names like vitamin D and calcium. It is readily available and easy to consume, and should be part of any nutritious diet.

When designer Waldo Fernández decided to put his 1926 walled Mediterranean estate, with its five bedrooms and seven bathrooms in roughly 7,200 square feet, on the market, it literally caused a sensation in the Los Angeles area. Known as the designer to the stars, Fernandez completely remodeled the home including high ceilings in the living room, gourmet kitchen with breakfast nook, formal dining room, study/media room, open family room, French doors leading to a lush gardens, swimming pool, outdoor fireplace and tennis court. The house has aged oak floors, wrought iron details and built-ins throughout. The house is for sale for $10,995,000.

Fernando was born in Cuba and was sent to the United States at age 17 to avoid having to serve in the Cuban military. He was able to find work cleaning windows in New York City before scraping together enough money for a bus ticket to Hollywood, where he enrolled at UCLA to study architecture and design. It didn’t take long for him to land a job in the set decoration department at 20th Century Fox, even though he didn’t speak much English. Some of the movie sets he worked on include Doctor Doolittle, Hello, Dolly, and Planet of the Apes.

He held that job for just over four years, designing custom furniture, before being asked to do some designs for director John Schlesinger’s residence.

His new career blossomed after that. He opened his first showroom in 1974 after traveling Europe in search of designs that would fit his sense of style, and his career took off after that. He has designed for celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston, Elizabeth Taylor, Sean Connery, and Goldie Hawn.

One story that helped cement his celebrity reputation was when Merv Griffin contacted him to design one of his hotel rooms for Prince Rainier and gave him less than 24 hours to do it. Fernández was able to achieve this by borrowing $150,000 worth of antique furniture, along with flowers and Spanish rugs, which were returned after the Prince went home.

Fernández’s furniture styles are primarily contemporary with flashes of modern touches. He furnishes rugs, baskets, and furniture for living rooms, bedrooms, dining rooms, and offices, as well as some items that work outdoors. His style is known as clean and open, with natural fabrics and white walls, and it’s no surprise that many of his designs give his clients the impression of being on a movie set. Famous fans of him praise him a lot; His critics, on the other hand, feel that his designs are clinical and cold, lifeless.

There’s no taste for everyone, but Fernández instills loyalty in those who love what his style does for them. He was also the designer requested to do the redesign of the famous Beverly Hills Hotel.

Fernandez put her own home on the market, and while keeping her business in California, she’s deciding to move to the Hamptons in upstate New York, an area she feels is more beautiful when it comes to nature. However, he will continue to be available as a designer in California and other locations around the world.

The boss calls and tells you that the report you need next week is due tomorrow. His son has so far “forgotten” that he has an important homework project due tomorrow. You are forced to help them. These are just a couple of simple but fairly common challenges that most people face on a regular basis. They are external so they are easy to recognize.

We have to understand that challenges are good for us. They help us grow (if you’re up for the challenge) as people and give us a higher threshold for staying calm under pressure. If we know that being challenged regularly is good for us, how do we make sure it’s happening?

The challenges do not have to be great. It could be something as simple as not eating that little snack bar while you’re dieting, no matter how much it calls your name. It’s doing your training regardless of how tired you are (unless you’re overtraining) and not making the excuse that you’ll make it up the next day, because you won’t. It’s waking up an hour earlier every day and studying and practicing to rank in the top one percent of people in your industry.

There are a couple of keywords that correlate with being up to the challenge. One of those words is self discipline. the other is perseverance. Self-discipline is doing what is necessary, even when we don’t really want too much. Perseverance is not giving up doing what is necessary when everything seems to be going against us.

At what level do you possess these two qualities? They also happen to be great character traits. If you’re known as the person who does what he says he’s going to do and doesn’t stop until he does it, people will notice. Having these two qualities is very quickly noticed by those above you, because they most likely have these qualities (part of the reason they are above you).

If you have a tendency to quickly “throw in the towel” when challenged, fear not. These two character traits can develop quite quickly. As I said at the beginning, the small steps are just as important as the big ones. Baby steps can be putting your things where they belong (the same way you do with your kids) the moment you get home from work, a night out, a family event, or wherever you’re coming from. Because things that don’t take time to do don’t take time to stop doing.

Be responsible for your actions and have the self-discipline and perseverance to face all challenges, big and small.