When it comes to sex, comfort and excitement go hand in hand. That’s why getting to the main event is often enhanced by a generous application of lube; in fact, most women say that sex is better when it comes to lube. Any man who practices good penile care also knows that lubricants are also great for adding a little spice to the masturbation experience.

But sometimes a man may walk away from a sexual encounter with a red penis, or worse, a red, itchy penis. Although his first thought might be a sexually transmitted disease, the culprit might be much simpler and less terrifying: it might be the lube he was using.

Why does lube lead to a red penis?

The lubricant is specifically designed to be used on the most intimate areas of the body, so it makes sense that it be gentle on the skin. However, some people find lubricants quite irritating. This is especially true if it is a ‘hot’ lube or one that has had something added to it for flavor, color or feel. These added ingredients may be enough to leave a man with a red penis, and possibly even leave his partner in a very itchy situation as well.

But in some cases, it is actually the lubricant itself that is causing the problem. This is often because a man uses a lot of lube during sex, but when it comes time to clean up, he doesn’t take much care to make sure it all comes off. Excess lubricant left on your skin can dry out pretty quickly, and that can lead to telltale itchiness and redness.

For some men, what is at stake is the type of lubricant. Oil-based lube tends to last longer and feel more slippery than water- or silicone-based, but the petroleum product in an oil-based lube can cause skin irritation. Silicone-based lubes are more difficult to wash off than water-based ones, which means they are great for longevity, but a man should always wash them carefully to avoid a red, itchy penis situation. The same goes for water-based lubes, which tend to wear off pretty quickly and that can lead to a more generous application.

Finally, remember that some lubricants have spermicidal ingredients. Although these can be great for an extra layer of protection against pregnancy, they can be harsh on the skin of the penis. If a man is using this type of lubricant, it is very important that he shower after sexual activity, to get rid of any lingering spermicide.

How to relieve a red or itchy penis

The good news is that a red or itchy penis as a result of lube is easy to fix. A man should simply be careful to wash the area very well, and if he sees redness, swelling, irritation, or a rash, he should consider changing the lubricant before the next encounter. If the problem persists, make an appointment with your doctor to find out what’s going on and how to alleviate the problem; An ongoing reaction may be caused by an allergy to one of the ingredients in the lubricant.

One of the best things a man can do to help his penis heal is to use a high-quality penis health cream. (Health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven to be gentle and safe on the skin.) A man who is serious about healing his penile skin lubrication problems may want to look for a cream that includes L-arginine, an amino acid that improves blood flow and thus speeds healing, as well as acetyl -L-carnitine, which protects against peripheral nerve damage. But perhaps the most important component for healing is a combination of shea butter and vitamin E, which moisturize and soothe red, sore skin on the penis.

I often hear from wives who hope that one day their husband will regret leaving them. Often these same wives will tell their husbands that leaving is a mistake they will one day regret. And often the husband doesn’t believe this for a second, or any doubts he may have overrides his need to go away and just see what happens.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part, “My husband has decided that he will be happier as a single man without the daily responsibilities of a wife and family. I think he has this romantic version of a weekend dad in his head.” I’ve told him repeatedly that he’s making a big mistake that he’ll regret one day, but he doesn’t listen at all. A mutual friend thinks he might be wrong. She says he might think he’s having the best of both worlds: weekends with your kids, but freedom, peace and quiet during the week. I disagree because I can’t imagine just turning your back on your family and then being happy with yourself afterwards. So who? Is that correct? Do men regret leaving their wives? Or do they walk away and never look back with any regret?

The answer to these questions depends on many variables. But yes, some men end up regretting leaving their wives once they’ve had some time apart and a chance to reflect. Whether or not they regret it (and how deeply they feel it) often depends on why they left in the first place, what happens after they leave, and what kind of person they are in the first place. I will discuss more about this matter in the next article.

The reasons a man has for leaving in the first place will often influence whether he ultimately regrets leaving: Men who leave their wives for other women often end up feeling regretful once they realize that the other woman or the relationship turned out to be a telling disappointment. The whole process and the feeling of discovery can take some time, but it is very common for regret to finally occur.

Many men have regrets after realizing they left a woman they misjudged. Or, they might decide later that they acted too quickly. Sometimes they later look back with some honesty and decide that they were immature and made their own mistakes and therefore it wasn’t fair that they blame you.

I’ve even had men say (with much regret) that they made the biggest mistake of their lives by leaving the one person who loved them unconditionally and who understood them like no one else. And sometimes it’s too late to fix this because that wonderful woman chose not to wait forever and some other man could see very clearly what her husband was missing all along.

Of course, while some husbands feel varying degrees of regret, some men don’t. Some men will tell you that escaping their marital prison was the best thing they ever did. They will tell you that they were dying inside every day that they were desperately unhappy within their marriage or that they lived for someone else. So what is the difference between the husband who is filled with regret and the man who feels nothing? Part of this is the personality and makeup of the husband combined with the circumstances of future events that unfold. And you can’t control this. But a good deal is also made up of your future interactions and perceptions of you, which you can certainly control.

How to act when you are trying to make your husband regret leaving you: I often hear of wives hoping to make their husband feel some regret. The first thing she will need to understand is that she will often be more successful with this process if she understands that it will only take some time. Feeling genuine regret often requires perspective. And it takes time for a genuine perspective. There is simply no way around that.

The next thing to understand is that regret fueled by grief or guilt is often not that genuine. It’s often the kind of regret that makes you want to stay away rather than the kind of regret that makes you want to come back. So while it might not be that hard for you to make him feel guilt or pity, and then feel some regret, this guy isn’t the guy you want because he’s more likely to make him want to stay away, which he doesn’t. is your goal.

Instead, what he wants is genuine regret that comes from realizing that he was wrong. He needs to believe that his doubts about you or the relationship were wrong at the time or no longer exist today. So how do you inspire this kind of change? You show a woman who respects herself, who is loving but self-sufficient. You show him the genuine side of yourself that is easy to relate to and collaborate with. In other words, you don’t want him to see the married woman he’s always fought with or just couldn’t make it work with.

Instead, you want him to see the woman he courted and never wanted to be without. I would understand if you have any questions about this process. After all, none of us have the ability to turn back the clock and pretend our mistakes and misunderstandings never happened. But today is a new day. You can simply acknowledge those same mistakes and your new set of circumstances and start over, or you can try to pick up the pieces or rewrite history from the past. In my experience, you’ll often get better results if you focus on the positive in the present because it allows your husband to want to spend more time with you without worrying that you’re trying to dig up the past or point out his misgivings People are naturally attracted to others people who make them feel better about themselves and their own situations.

So while you don’t have to pretend to be happy that he left you, acting on this unhappiness by trying to provoke negative feelings that fuel regret will often only reinforce his decision to leave. Instead, you want to provide him with positive memories and experiences that make him question his decision to leave.