I opened Sunday’s Parade Magazine and read an article on “The Mixed Life of Shia LaBeouf” written by Dotson Rader. Shia is a 23-year-old highly successful actor whose latest movie is “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” I saw the irony in the title of the article and the title of the movie.

Like many people, successful or not, Shia is looking to find her place and the meaning of life. He is struggling to honor his own authenticity and has no answers about who he is and what he is here to contribute. Already at such a young age, Shia has reached the holy grail of wealth and fame. So how can someone who has achieved so much, has the recognition and financial freedom most people crave, be in such emotional pain?

According to Rader, “I don’t handle fame well,” says LaBeouf. “Most actors on most days don’t believe they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I did, I’d fill it up and be in my shape.” Already a self-proclaimed alcoholic, Shia says he doesn’t know what he’s doing as an actor or why people want him. Shia thinks that acting is a game of luck and ambition. Shia became an actor for the money only to discover that money, however plentiful, does not satisfy the deepest satisfaction that can only come from self-awareness.

Shia’s total self-esteem depends on whether people on the street recognize him or not. Desperately seeks validation of the opinion of others. If the flame of fame went out, who would it be? If Shia believes that he is not worthy of the wealth and fame he has received, he will continue to sabotage himself until he has no more wealth and fame.

A person who self-sabotages has the mentality of a victim. If your identity and self-esteem are dependent on others in any way, then you are living the life of a victim. The life of a victim can only be one of despair and anxiety.

Victims do not take responsibility for their own life experiences. Victims give away their personal power to other people or other things. “It’s the economy, the glass ceiling, or ‘the system'” is a typical victim mantra. Something outside of them is the reason the victim lives a seemingly meaningless and often destructive life. Immersing yourself in feeling victimized can be attractive. Being a victim can be used to draw attention to oneself. If your self-esteem is tied to the amount of attention you receive from others, then you have set the stage for a lifetime of victimization, mostly self-generated!

“I’ve never been contained except when I did prison.” – Mary Evans, 1888-1976, British actress

The moment you give up your personal power to another person is the moment you become a victim instead of the creator of your life. Each person has the power to create what they want to be, do or have in life. How you present yourself in life determines your life experience.

People with a victim mentality feel powerless to make changes in their lives because they think that elements of their lives are out of their control. People with a victim mentality often sabotage themselves to provide further evidence of their victimization. A victim points to another person or something else as responsible for all of her pleasure and/or anguish. People with a victim mentality think that their actions are justified by what others have done to them. What a victim does not realize is that she is only a victim of her own thoughts and belief system, no one else.

The victim presents himself in life as a victim and is, therefore, victimized. If not for others, then for himself. He becomes a victim of his own woefully misguided inner critic. The Inner Critic is a byproduct of his conditioning, compulsions, and secret agendas. People who sabotage themselves surrender to this inner tyranny. Such a victim is unable to objectively see the nature of reality and the nature of her own authentic inner being. When you are not fully aware of what you are experiencing, you will not be fully aware of the extent to which negative impressions are infiltrating your life that you are acting on.

To make the transition from the life of a victim to the life of a powerful being who deliberately creates the life experiences she chooses, you must discover and honor who you are at your innermost core. Your thoughts and actions must be aligned with this truth. You must remain centered in this truth of who you are. Eliminating self-sabotage depends on your integrity with your truth. You must end the internal war between what is often called your Higher Self and your Inner Critic with the Higher Self prevailing. You must take full responsibility for the life you live, appreciate the gifts in the lessons learned from your mistakes, and passionately pursue your true dreams because that is what you are here to do.

If you show up in your life with integrity and alignment with your authenticity, I promise you a life of fulfillment and total joy.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care.” -Dr Seuss