“All Diamonds Have Flaws: 5 Things To Remember When Comparing Ourselves To Others”

star structure

Have you ever fallen in love with a particular character in a movie, or made a hero out of a superstar athlete, or better yet, aspired to be like a highly visible person just because of how they appeared on screen, on the playing field? sports or in the media?

I will be honest. I’ve got. I “fell in love” over and over again with Rachel Green (Jennifer Anniston) from the TV show Friends. She was pretty and had a magnetic and sexy personality. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, she never knew that I “loved” her. She might have been a match made in heaven, but chances are she would eventually have had to reveal herself as a human, just like me. She shines like a diamond, but all diamonds have flaws. Even the pretty, sexy and magnetic ones.

It’s so easy to see these superstar people as people we want to be like or people we want to be with. They seem to have it all together, possessing all the qualities that we admire and want to have for ourselves. These charismatic, funny, beautiful, well-spoken and talented idols invite us into their life on stage and in the arena by making us believe that who and what we see are the real deal. If they do their job well, and the ones we’re attracted to are obviously outstanding at what they do, we covet the prize they seem to already have.

Say it isn’t

We are often surprised when we discover that our hero, or our love interest in the movie, has an addiction, hates children, is broke, or has other warts that are often disguised with makeup, or a supermodel in each. arm.

Where is the glory story?

My brother was a reporter for a Midwestern newspaper several years ago and had the opportunity to interview Woody Herman, one of the biggest and most popular big band leaders in the industry. Being a fan, he was excited for the chance to talk to Woody. Sitting face-to-face with this Big Band icon, my brother was expecting an interview filled with the glorious history of spending a lifetime as a touring musician, playing to auditoriums packed with enthusiastic fans. Not that much. The gist of the interview was that the famous bandleader, who seemed to have it all, was only on tour because he was blind-robbed by a corrupt manager and would have quit long ago if he hadn’t been forced to play. to shrinking audiences and living out of a tired suitcase due to his financial difficulties.

So much for a glory story, but it’s a perfect example that what we see on the outside isn’t exactly what’s true on the inside.

Remember, all diamonds have flaws

When I look at other people and compare them to who I am, I work hard to remember a couple of things that help me keep things in perspective, mainly so I don’t get fooled by what I think they are:

1. Does your perceived brilliance shine through no matter where you are, onstage and off, in the spotlight or at the grocery store, in the arena or on the playground?

2. Am I clear about who they really are at their core and can I differentiate between who they appear to be and who they are in real life?

3. When I look at someone in the spotlight, can I see their true depth as human beings? Are real? They care? Do they show your true self in all its strength and glory, as well as all its faults and shortcomings?

4. Does their fire burn brighter and hotter just because they’re performing or bringing that energy into their lives out of the spotlight and off the court?

5. Is the shine that attracts me just smoke and mirrors or are they really living their passion and it shows in everything they do?

Here’s the kicker.

So I ask myself those same questions!