You know that feeling, a girl maybe your schoolmate or neighbor you used to play with and probably even fight from time to time… one day she suddenly turns into the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.

Well, it’s what love songs are made of.

Do you remember the 1976 hit song by the British band Smokie “Living next door to Alice”? the choir left

“Twenty-four years waiting for a chance, to tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance. Now I have to get used to not living next door to Alice.”

Here’s a story my friend Gary told me and why I think it’s worth being honest:

“My dad just got a new job and we moved to a new state and neighborhood closer to his work. I was 8 at the time.

Susan lived right across the street from us in the new place and we also attended the same school. It was inevitable that we would become playmates. I had no siblings, so it was always school, home, lunch, homework, and then playtime with Susan.

Fast forward 4 years and the feelings came to me out of the blue. One day we were friends and the next I was practically dreaming about her and always wanted to be near her. However, I couldn’t explain how I felt for fear of being mocked or called musky. He had a feeling she liked him too, but he was too scared to speak. More years passed and it was time for college.

The day Susan left was very painful for me, but it would only get worse because I was in for a bad surprise. During summer vacation, Susan came home but she was not alone. She brought her new boyfriend Dave with her. He was devastated.

Dave stayed for lunch and dinner that day, but the moment he left, I walked over to Susan’s house, rang the doorbell, and told her, to the amusement of her mother and little brother, that I had been in love with her for years. many years. Guess what?

She asked me “Why did you take so long?” We have been married for over 15 years now.”

You have these feelings inside, but you can’t seem to get them out because every time you see her, your knees go weak and you can’t put together a complete sentence. You feel like you’re dying inside every time she walks past you without even looking at you. Don’t worry, you are not alone.

So how do you get the confidence to speak up?

1. Be yourself: please guys, this cannot be stressed enough and has to be the golden rule of relationships between men and women. Trying to sound, walk, or talk like someone you’re not makes you look boyish and upset. That certainly wouldn’t earn you any favors from the ladies/girls. I’m not saying that if you have some poor personality traits you shouldn’t try to change, but I’m sure you get the picture.

2. Don’t fear rejection: Like my story above, Gary was afraid for years to express his feelings because he was sure Susan would reject him. But guess that? She does not! Even if he had, at least he would have had closure and been able to put the incident behind him. The idea of ​​saying “what if” for the rest of his life pushed him to finally take the plunge and you should too.

Let’s face it anyway, it’s not like you’re being directed Game of Thrones style for talking to the girl with all your heart!

3. Find out a little about his interests: The operative word here is “a little.” I’m not saying follow her about the town stalker style, but I’m sure a friend or two should be able to tell you what her hobbies are. Do you like to read, sew, swim or even cook? Refresh your knowledge on any of her interests and you’ll have plenty to discuss and keep her interested. It also helps make you feel important.

4. Be romantic: Remember the dates that are special to her. Birthdays and other events should not be forgotten. Gifts don’t have to be expensive, but they should show your care.

5. Appearance matters too: We can’t do much about the genes we’re born with, but what about basic things like clean hair and nails? Bad breath is a no-no and it could cost you dearly. You can bet you wouldn’t get a second chance.

Take a second look in the mirror before you go out, even when you know you won’t see her that day.

Go through an exercise, and if possible, try to practice where you’re likely to meet yourself in action (yes, I know this sounds cheesy, but what’s a man to do?). Have you ever wondered why the boys on the football and basketball team always got the girls back to high school, well now you know and you can thank me later.

6. Try to get along with your friends: It may not always be possible, but don’t think for a minute that they don’t matter. They could go a long way in making or breaking your young love, especially in the early days of the relationship.

7. Don’t be lazy: I could write an entire book on this. What do you want from her? Say it. Do not entertain. However, don’t toe the marriage line on the second date or even the third date. Do you understand my drift? Do you just want a friend, a girlfriend or a wife?

8. Show that you want her heart, not just her body: Physical contact is a very moving topic for both men and women. Keep your hands to yourself until you are both ready to move on.

So would you want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been or would you take a chance and make a move on the girl? Gary in my story made the move for him, but the choice, my friends, is entirely yours.