This is something that nobody likes to talk about. Terminal illness can be one of the most stressful and devastating things a person goes through. Perhaps it goes without saying that it’s much worse for the person who’s sick, and that usually requires you to be there for them. Most people want to offer some kind of gesture to show their concern and support, but they are usually so overwhelmed that the most effort they are willing to put into buying a gift is a trip to the hospital gift shop. Understandably. Most would naturally feel that they have more important things to think about.

Of course, trivial as it may seem, a gift can be truly important to a sick or declining person. Many times we can get so entrenched in the more objective and medical side of things that we forget how important a patient’s feelings are to their recovery. The fact is that a person who does not want to die is less likely to die than a person who does want to die; Similarly, a person who believes they can recover is more likely to return to health than a person who believes they will die.

What I have tried to do here is to compile a list of gifts that go the extra mile to inspire your terminal loved one. Particularly important things in some cultures that promote health, good luck, and most important of all for your loved one, good vibes.

senbazuru

An old Japanese legend says that anyone who makes 1,000 origami cranes (called senbazuru when they are all grouped together) will get a wish granted by a crane, usually in the form of good luck or recovery from illness. In some versions of the legend, the person making the wish must fold all 1,000 cranes. However, I like to think that the crane in question wouldn’t mind if you bought your loved one some origami paper and helped them out for a while.

prayer flags

You may have seen them before despite their distant origins in Tibet nearly a thousand years ago. Usually, a set of prayer flags consists of five square flags of different colors. Each flag is printed with more than 400 sutras (typically via woodcuts), each dedicated to a different deity. The idea is that if the prayer flags are hung in a high place, as they fade and wear out, their sutras will permanently become part of the universe, thus spreading goodwill to all. It’s a great way to promote positive vibes and they make a beautiful decoration too.

dream Catcher

This one is not too unfamiliar to most Americans, especially if you live in the Rocky Mountains. If you are unfamiliar with the legend, know that it is a Native American legend and you would do well not to misappropriate it (many people hang them in their rear view mirrors or on their walls as decorative pieces). Legend has it that once a woman prevented her son from crushing a spider on the wall that was spinning its web above where the woman slept. When the boy left, the spider revealed that he could speak and wished to repay the woman for her kindness. He left her net for the old woman to hold over her head while she slept, explaining that her bad dreams would become entangled in it and only her good dreams would be remembered. This gift is especially good for anxious children and is a symbol of good luck.

Of course, if you like to keep things simple, then go for it. Not all of us have to be Patch Adams and not all of us can be anyway. Not that folding an origami crane will turn you into Patch Adams, but it will probably be a welcome refrain from all worries. Unless you’re a doctor, this is the most you can do sometimes. And that’s okay! You are helping much more than you think just by being present. We need to de-stress and decompress for our bodies to be healthy. If you can provide that opportunity to do it, then you don’t need Patch Adams.