“If you focus on finding what is good in every situation, you will find that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nourishes the soul.” Rabbi Harold Kushner

Think about a time in your life when you thought “Happily Ever After” wasn’t on the cards. During this time, you may have felt that nothing pleasant was going to appear. Yet somehow through the struggle, fear, and confusion, you found some benefits in your situation. Eventually, things turned around, almost like magic, and your life took care of itself.

This is how it happened to me…

A couple of months before my thirtieth birthday, I was battling a deep depression. I was comparing my life in a very unfavorable light with that of my friends. They were all married, had nice houses, drove nice cars, and had nice children. I thought they had it all and that their lives were perfect. I, on the other hand, was dating Mr. “Right Now,” renting a house, renting a car, and living with my four cats (a recipe for dating disaster, trust me. Have you ever seen the expression on a no? – Cat person when he finds out you have four cats? You can almost see his brain imagining the future you: 87 years old with seventy-six cats running around the house. Egads!) Back to my point…

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I knew I needed to get out of my depression. I decided to have a little talk with myself and asked myself the question: “What’s GOOD about my situation?” It took me a while, but I finally realized, “Wait a minute, I DON’T HAVE a house, I DON’T have kids, I DON’T HAVE a car, and I don’t have a husband. These are the BETTER moments of my life! I am in control of my life: I can do what I want, when I want, and I don’t have to answer to anyone. Life is good!” (I found out later that my friends thought I had a pretty amazing life to begin with, since I didn’t have all the heavy responsibilities that they did. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side, doesn’t it? not that way?)

It has been said that nature abhors a vacuum and when you remove negativity from your perspective, you open yourself up to receive an influx of positivity. By getting rid of my negative attitude and looking for the positive, I created the void that gave my story a happy ending.

Three months into my attitude adjustment, the love of my life, Scott, showed up. If I hadn’t cleared the space for him, breaking up with Mr. Right Now, and appreciating where I was at in my life, it might not have happened.

Do you have a tendency to compare yourself unfavorably to others? What do you feel is currently missing from your life that everyone around you seems to possess? Think for a minute: Is it possible that you have some things that others would like to have? Are you open to receive what you want?

Start a list of the things you have. This may not be easy to do if you’ve been particularly hard on yourself lately. Be patient with yourself and add to the list as often as possible. Over time, your perspective will begin to change. You will come to realize the blessings that have been taken for granted for years. There really is something good in every situation. Know that it takes practice and conscious effort to find it at the beginning of your appreciation practice. It gets easier as you get into the habit and your gratitude will be as natural as your negativity used to be.

have fun,

smooth

When you eliminate your resentment, envy and/or disappointment with yourself or with others, you open the space to receive the people, events and circumstances that you want to come into your life.