Sorry, brewer Dos Equis, you are no longer the most interesting man in the world. That distinguished honor now goes to Jesús en tacos, or Cletus. Formerly known as Tim Tebow or The Tebownator. Everywhere you look you see his mug (ooh sorry the mug could be associated with beer and we wouldn’t want to do that). He has introduced America to a new sport that is actually an old sport called Teball. It’s where a fullback grabs the ball and runs over the other team, then once he reaches the end zone, he kneels down and prays for the cornerback whom he simply tells that the DB coach will be merciful and gracious for leaving. get run over by a numbered fullback from QB. . (The only people who do the Tebow pose more than Cletus are all the college receivers praying they aren’t drafted by the Broncos without a pass.)
The idea of the running quarterback is not new. The problem was, people envisioned drivers like Michael Vick as the quarterback. No, what seems to work is that people never imagined Mike Alstott wearing the number 15. It’s cornerbacks who are worried about breaking their ribs these days. It used to be the idea of getting carried away by a “swoosh” like a jet. Now the idea is to get hit by a “klunk” as if you were hit by a ’57 Chevy.
This idea works in the most basic soccer scheme. Put a hat on a hat and if he doesn’t have to hand it over, Cletus puts his hat on your hat too, while you eat a side of the grass with your humble pie. Remember the basics too, all it takes is 3.34 yards per run and you can register the ball all the way to the promised land of the colored rectangle.
The only thing better last week when Cletus ran the ball for all the New York Jets in the Bronco game-winning series would have been if former Dallas Cowboys DB Charlie Waters had a grandson playing in the corner in which Cletus set foot, on the way to his prayer meeting. In that way, the headlines could have read: “Cletus Walks on Water to Resurrect the Broncos!”
Are you looking at the future of the NFL? A revolution in the QB position? The next big thing? Well, probably … if you’re watching the Green Bay Packers.