The Three Steps to Positive Parenting Leadership Skills

“If we want to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted children, then we, as parents, must lead happy, healthy, and well-adjusted lives.” Years ago, I authored that saying, and the message certainly lends itself to the fundamentals of parenting, that if we want to raise our children correctly, then we have to demonstrate acceptable behavior ourselves. In short, we must lead our offspring with a positive example.

Our children are entitled to a solid foundation from which to leap into adulthood. It is our responsibility as parents and society in that sense to guide them and demonstrate the behaviors that are acceptable to raise them properly. Sadly, some parents just don’t understand that concept and continue to exhibit their own misdirection.

They continue to believe that if their children are not listening to what they are saying, they certainly should not be looking at what they are doing either; Could not be farther from the truth. Frankly, if you don’t have the self-control to set the tone, then you’re allowing your kids to self-destruct.

For example, do you really think you are being a good role model when one Saturday morning, while driving your daughter to soccer practice, you start a conversation about smoking? It explains the health problems it can cause, especially lung cancer. It makes clear how expensive smoking is, outlines the smelly side effects, nicotine addiction, and spells out the millions of other problems the habit can cause as you fire up the last twenty on a pack of Marlboro yourself.

Are you really being a positive influence in your child’s life when, after drinking a 12-pack during a Sunday afternoon watching soccer, you decide this would be a great teaching moment for little Johnny? So, with slurred speech, bloodshot eyes, and the smell of stale beer wafting from your breath, you tell him that alcohol is acceptable under two conditions. One must be of legal drinking age and two must drink responsibly.

However, during halftime, with your eyes open and half in the bag, you find that you’ve exhausted your supply of Bud Light. So as Johnny watches, do you walk up to the car, get behind the wheel, and make your way to the corner store to buy another shelf?

However, professionally speaking, I have thousands of examples of parents demonstrating poor leadership skills; this sticks out in my mind.

A few years ago, a young man injected his girlfriend with an overdose of heroin and was convicted of her death. After a long road, the jury came back with a guilty verdict and sentenced him to 10 years to life in New Hampshire State Prison.

Unbelievably, during one visit, his mother tried to smuggle marijuana into the prison for him and was arrested herself.

Thinking back to the days when I was a police officer in Newton, New Hampshire, I dealt with this person’s mother on numerous occasions, so it was not surprising that the poor decisions she was making at the time came back to haunt her.

Unsurprisingly, his lack of discretion manifested itself in poor parenting skills that allowed his own son to walk the same path that led to his own self-destruction through drugs and alcohol, inevitably leading to his imprisonment.

Decades of research on children at risk and poor parenting has shown that parents who empower their children and do not lead by positive example are products of the same environment in which they place their own children, it is a hapless cycle for which there is no easy solutions. . However, to fix the child, you must fix the parents. Here are some suggestions.

1. Take a parenting class. Local high schools and colleges always offer parenting classes at reduced costs; They cover the basics, but give you information, tips, and resources to help you deal with issues, especially teen issues.

2. Plug. Connect to the things that will help you develop your own self-esteem and confidence. Read positive books, listen to self-help tapes and positive music, and surround yourself with your own group of positive peers.

3. Follow the positive and successful example of others. Join PTA or other groups and get involved with parents who are successful in raising their children, learn from them what works and what doesn’t.

Taking the first step in breaking bad habits that can lead to poor parenting can be difficult. However, if you want to lead your children to a better life you have to make sacrifices because it is not about you.

So get started right now and show your kids that you are willing to show them the way. Throw away your Marlboros, put the beer on ice for another time, let your kids accept the consequences of their actions and whatever you do, don’t try to smuggle marijuana into a state prison, it’s really not happiness, health, Health. tight thing to do.

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