Hard rap to hip hop is what heavy metal is to rock. While some of the more difficult tracks never make it to the radio, there are a lot of “when I hear this song, I just want to break things” songs out there today. Let’s take a look at some of these songs that come from well-known rappers.

For hardcore rap, you can’t go wrong with Ice Cube. Responsible for tracks like You Can Do It, this MC can reach the mic like a crocodile. His hardest track: Go To Church, featuring Snoop Dogg.

50 cents. One of hip hop’s most credible street rappers, 50, emerged thanks to his Forever King mixtape, full of criticism from other rappers, politicians, and just about anyone you could think of. His hardest clue: I don’t know official.

Eminem. This Detroit-born MC could fill a list with his list of hard-hitting beats and raps, though his harshest rhymes come out on “Till I Collapse,” “The Way I Am” and “Kill You.” What I like best about these tracks is that Eminem’s verses go to the beat, and they would be a great introduction to a soccer game.

DMX. Any hardcore rap list would be incomplete without DMX; after all, he has a song called “Keep Your S *** The Hardest”. Other notable tracks include “Ruff Ryders Anthem” and “Get At Me Dog”, although any part of his debut album “It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot” could qualify for this list.

Method Man and Redman. Honestly, I have never considered Method Man a tough rapper but I did join Redman who is pure fire, period, the two of them released some hot songs with their album “BlackOut”. My vote: “Tear Da Roof Off”

Three 6 Mafia: I’m not really a fan of your work, but “It’s A Fight” gets my blood pumping every time.

Hard Rap Songs That Deserve Honorable Mention:

Triumph of Wu Tang Clan

Crunk Music by Dipset

Da Blow by Lil Jon

Everybody heard me for C- Murder

Kill us all from Twista

LL Cool J’s Mama Said Knock You Out (the acousitc version on MTV’s Unplugged is great!)

Interested in more hard core rap? Take a look at Pandora and enter “hard rap” into its search engine. You’ll create a list of songs that will inspire footsteps, bumps, bangs, screams, and screeches. Good times.

Looking for ideas for housewarming gifts? Are you stumped trying to think of the perfect gift to give your friend the new homeowner? Well this is not that, but do not stop reading now. This is a list of the top 10 things not to give as a housewarming gift.

Number 10: New Lighting! Be it a lamp, a candle or a night light; novelty lighting is just not a good idea. One time they gave me a pink flamingo night light. Unfortunately, I’m not kidding. It was hideous and I had no idea what to do with it. I ended up giving it away as a white elephant at a Christmas party. If you are thinking of giving it a light that makes you laugh, just refrain.

Number 9: Record the bad gifts you have received in the past. I know we’ve probably all been guilty of doing this in the past, but it’s really not a good idea. A changing story is too terrible to tell. A mother-in-law gave her daughter-in-law a set of kitchen glasses for her new home. Only they weren’t new. In fact they already belonged to the daughter. Her husband had kept them in his mother’s garage until he and his new wife could move into their new home! The moral of the story: Don’t give gifts again, especially if you can’t remember where it came from.

Number 8 – Barbie doll with cozy toilet paper. You’ve seen them at yard sales, craft fairs, and maybe in the back of your grandmother’s bathroom. It’s that slightly creepy Barbie doll whose legs sit inside the toilet paper roll, her usually crocheted skirt hides the replacement TP roll.

Number 7- Memories of the sports team. No matter how fanatic of the Braves your friend is, I doubt that he or his wife would appreciate a blanket with their favorite team’s logo or a framed poster of their favorite player. Sounds good, but where would they put it?

Number 6 – Novelty drinking glasses or beer coozies. Does anyone really need a complete set of Shrek glasses from McDonalds? Or fish face beer coozies? You know a good rule of thumb is that if it has the word novelty in the description, don’t buy it!

Number 5 – Taxidermized animal. Now I hope this one speaks for itself, but in case you are considering buying a prank cat or stuffed moose head, DON’T DO IT!

Number 4 – Mounted and talking animals. We have all seen them in the store or on television. The hilarious bass that sings and dances. This falls into the same category as number 5. Please use a little more moderation. It sounds funny, but it really isn’t.

Number 3 – Live animals. As sweet as a new puppy or kitten may seem; They are not the best housewarming gift. Pets as gifts seem like a great idea, but the logistics of having a pet turned out to be very complicated. And many times they can wreak havoc on a new home. So stop by the free kitty box outside of Walmart, because you might lose your friend to it.

Number 2: a non-smoking ashtray. I hope no one does this, but I once heard the story of a mother-in-law who gave an ashtray to her new daughter-in-law. Unfortunately, the daughter-in-law did not smoke, and all she could think of was that her new mother-in-law was plotting for her speedy death.

And the number one bad housewarming gift: cleaning supplies. Now many of you may think that cleaning supplies would make a good gift, and in theory it would. The problem is the message conveyed by these kinds of gifts. Something like, “Here’s a vacuum cleaner, because you clearly don’t spend enough time on your household responsibilities. Women, especially, can be offended by such an offering. So, unless it’s a requested item, skip the cleaning supplies.

You have probably already noticed that martial artists use different colored belts to designate rank. It has always been like this? Is there a specific order for the belt colors? What’s up with all these stripes that you keep seeing? What do the different colors really mean? Be on the lookout for answers to all your colored belt questions.

The different colored belts used to designate rank are a relatively modern innovation created by master Jigoro Kano, the founder of Judo in the early 20th century. Master Kano felt that there should be a visual progression of the belts as a way of knowing what level a practitioner was at and also as a way of implementing a specific hierarchy within each Judo club.

Before the invention of colored belts, there was simply a white belt and a black belt and nothing in between. It was not uncommon for a teacher’s disciple to study for years while wearing a white belt until one day out of nowhere, the teacher awarded the student a black belt and that was it. The common myth of starting with a white belt that gradually gets dirtier as you train and eventually turns black and then over a longer period of time fades again and turns dark gray, designating an advanced rank is no more. than that: a myth!

It is highly unlikely that someone will wear the same belt for years and hours after hours of intense training and a lot of sweat and probably some blood from time to time. That belt must have been pretty stinky to say the least. The fact is that in the old days a karate session was a private matter between the teacher and his student and there was not even a need for a belt. The student practiced in comfortable pants and a tank top and that was it.

So what is the problem with all these colored belts?

Well, it has been a gradual progression to our current situation. First no belts, then black and white, then the addition of brown, then green, then the other fills of yellow, orange, blue, purple, red, and recently we have seen many other additions that vary in shades from all of the above. colors with multiple stripes, achievement bands and patches, all for the purpose of encouraging students. Depending on which end of the traditional versus modern continuum you place yourself on, you can cynically laugh at the belt rainbow or you can welcome modern innovation and a source of positive rewards and reinforcement.

Most people, including me, are somewhere in the middle. I think colored belts are a good thing for today’s world, especially kids, but let’s keep it real and don’t get carried away and reward third grade gold belts with a green and purple stripe and an achievement patch of “focus” just for showing up to class four times that month! If your club has more than ten different colored belts with multiple stripes and patches, all within the same age group program, then you have probably entered a “belt factory.”

It is okay to have different belt systems for different programs, such as a Tiny Tigers program for kids ages 4-6, a Junior program for kids ages 7-12, and the premier martial arts program for teens and adults, but for cramming around 20 different belts into a two- or three-year program is just ridiculous and frankly, it’s mostly about money.

It seems that today we have more belt colors than ice cream flavors and consequently there are no real benchmarks against which we can compare different belts from one school to another. So don’t even try. Basically, the belt you wear around your waist only means something to you and the person who gave it to you. You generally have to go and meet certain requirements to receive your belt, but the requirements differ so much from school to school that there is no universal standard.

This is another reason why you should do your research beforehand and learn about the different martial arts schools in your area. Ask them about their shows, their rating systems, their rating fees, and their style. Then decide if what they offer is something that would benefit you or your child.

If you need more help with this or any other karate topic, be sure to download my FREE report “Beginner’s Guide to Karate”. You will find how to download it at http://www.freekarateinformation.com

Good luck and best wishes on your karate journey.

Designing your restaurant kitchen is vital because this is where production begins and ends. In fact, the painting and decorating of a restaurant should begin where it is cooked: in the kitchen. Kitchen design includes a ton of other decorating stages, like choosing paint color, deciding on layout, and selecting kitchen appliances. Effective kitchen design results in greater efficiency of kitchen staff, which translates to higher productivity and better quality.

Consider a general design or theme. Kitchen design typically follows a basic pattern, which then becomes extraordinary for details and style. Communicate specific requirements with your painting contractors so that the result is exactly what you want and need for your restaurant. Work out the details from a basic design, the very foundation of the way you decorate your restaurant kitchen. The basic layout also dominates the other aspects or areas of your establishment, including the dining room, counter section, and bathrooms.

When it comes to general design or theme, you actually have a long list of options. One of the common choice themes is white, which makes the restaurant look neat and spacious. If you want to evoke classic country appeal, go for browns and greens, or pair white with blue. Professional decorators can offer suggestions on the best way to decorate your kitchen. If you want a really impressive kitchen, go for the bold shades of red, yellow, orange or pink. For themes, you might want a Tuscan cuisine, a traditional Irish restaurant, or a retro theme.

Painting and decorating the kitchen should be done with safety in mind. Some paints damage quickly when exposed to fire, heat, oil, and water, which are common elements in the cooking area. Not all surfaces are best covered with paint; some are best covered with granite or marble tiles, which are easier to clean and resist damage from food spills. Some sections of the walls need a backsplash to keep the walls dry and attractive for kitchen activities. However, synchronize the color of your tiles, decorations, furniture, equipment, and paint for a unified look.

Kitchen safety is enhanced with proper lighting and proper design. Space and lighting are maximized or enhanced with your choice of paint color. Dark colors can make your kitchen small and cramped, while bright colors make it spacious and well-lit. In addition, the color helps create an atmosphere for your restaurant that encourages the appetite. Red, orange and yellow have been proven to make an area cheerful and enjoyable for cooking and dining. Painting and decorating your restaurant kitchen should be well thought out so that the area is as efficient and attractive as you want it to be.

All mothers look forward to taking a solo spin on the dance floor with their son at their wedding. It’s likely the only time in the entire day that she’ll have it all to herself for about three full minutes, so it’s important to pick a song that’s appropriate and worthy of the moment. It may be bittersweet for her, or she may be celebrating more than anyone else.

Some people also choose to combine Father-Daughter and Mother-Son dances in one event. In that situation, look for a song that is on this list, as well as the father and daughter songs page of our website. There are some crossovers, but not all songs on this list will apply.

It is important to note that song titles do not tell the whole story; be sure to listen to ALL the lyrics to a song before approving it for your father-daughter or mother-son dance. There are several songs that seem appropriate on the surface, but they may not work for a dance with your parents.

Here are some suggestions for suitable mother and son songs:

A Song for Mom – Boys II Men

A Whole New World – Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle

Anyway – Martina McBride

Beautiful in my eyes – Joshua Kadison

Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion

Blessed – Elton John

Blessed – Martina McBride

Butterfly Kisses – Bob Carlisle

Can you feel the love tonight? – Elton John

My Son – Carol King

I don’t know much – Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville

Edelweiss – Sound of Music

Forever Young – Rod Stewart

God Bless the Child – Tony Bennett

Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston

Have I told you lately? – Van Morrison

Hero – Mariah Carey

How You Fall In Love – Alabama

How Sweet It Is – James Taylor

I Hope You Dance – Leann Womack

I Will Remember – Madonna

In my life – The Beatles

In This Life – Collin Raye

It’s Your Song – Garth Brooks

The Way You Are – Billy Joel

Let it be – Beatles

Love is a beautiful thing – Phil Vassar

Rio Luna – Andy Williams

Over the rainbow / wonderland – IZ

Stand By Me – Ben E. King

Sunrise, Sunset – Fiddler On The Roof

Sun on my shoulders – John Denver

Teach Your Children Well – Crosby, Stills & Nash

The Gift – Collin Raye / Jim Brickman

The Rose – Bette Midler

So They Do – Trace Adkins

There You Will Be – Faith Hill

Through the Years – Kenny Rogers

The time of your life – Green Day

Unforgettable – Nat King Cole / Natalie Cole

What a wonderful world – Louis Armstrong

Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler

You are the sunshine of my life – Stevie Wonder

You Raise Me – Josh Groban

You will be in my heart – Phil Collins

When I started boxing, I had a textbook on fan posture and style; hands up, left hand about six inches from chin, fairly upright stance, and active defense with a focus on “cover and counter” pace. It wasn’t long before my coach took me aside and told me this was not going to work. It made me bring my hands to my chin, square myself a bit, and start working on my head movement with immediate counterattacks and punches as the opponent struck. Did you know you loved Mike Tyson? Who knows, I’m sure I gave it away at some point in my training. This ‘new’ Peekaboo style took me to a new level in the gym. I felt like he had a style of his own (of course this wasn’t true), I figured it was Mike Tyson, slipping and countering, and knocking out the guys!

Style is one thing, skill is another, and the ability to execute your style is something else. It didn’t take me long to realize that I didn’t have the punching power of Mike Tyson, most guys don’t, even the pros. After a lot of beatings in the first 6 months in the gym, I started to get into my rhythm and style, and in my first fight it was like a white Mike Tyson, I rocked, moved, and came forward with heavy punches. Not everything was glory, he was gassed at the end of the second round of all the aggression. I won that fight, mainly because of solid defense and the ability to throw clean shots when it was my turn to shoot, I didn’t knock out my opponent and it wasn’t the Mike Tyson-style performance that I envisioned. Which brings me to the purpose of this post, a reader writes in:

… I also noticed that at the amateur level, everyone learns to box in the traditional way. However, I really like the unpredictability of Floyd Mayweather’s style or Sergio Martinez’s ambush style. I think a lot of his success has more to do with his unorthodox style than his natural ability.

What do you think about fighting like the aforementioned fighters? Sergio and Roy Jones Jr. often drop their hand, but it seems to work for them. I don’t have astonishing speed, but would certain exercises or repetition help me achieve similar work styles at the amateur level? “

There are a couple of things to keep in mind with any type of style:

1) Your style is how you put each piece of your boxing repertoire into action. To keep it basic, one guy likes to catch the jab and counter, the other likes to slide the jab and counter. This is the beginning of the style. Boxing is about position, technique, patterns, and rhythm. You can emulate Roy Jones or Mayweather, but it will always be you with your own style, this can be good or bad. Take what you learn and make it yours, remember that you are trying to win and good fighters do whatever it takes to win. Style is secondary to winning. Just look at how Mayweather changed his style right after Mosley hit him in the second round of their fight.

2) Fight based on your competitive field. Most of the best professional boxers started with a traditional amateur style. This is because amateur play is based on hitting connections and judges do not like fighters who deviate from the amateur style template. They think you’re “showing off” when you drop your hands. I’ve never seen a guy drop his hands in the fans’ victory against an even opponent, the judges just won’t score for him. In the amateur game you have to play for the judges, you can loosen your hands a bit and work with an evasive style, but I would not go too far from this, unless you know that you can clean your opponent.

3) Dropping your hands has its purpose. The main reasons for dropping your left hand into a Philadelphia shell position or dropping both hands and being cautious are; first, you can move your head faster based on the weight distribution across your body, second, you can see the punches a little easier, third, you can rotate your shoulder to set up counterattacks, and fourth, you can throw punches from outside your opponents line of vision. If you are going to drop one or both hands, make sure you can back off with real technique.

4) The best way to develop any style is to take a chance in combat and practice what you are trying to achieve. You have to take risks if you want to improve and not depend on what works all the time. You have to put your ego aside and risk losing a round or two to try something new, that’s the best way to learn.

5) Understand that distance and pace are critical to your boxing style. Take a look at Mayweather, who likes to shoot and pick opponents apart from the outside, controls the distance and mentally paralyzes his opponents. Look at Pacquiao moving well from side to side, shaking his head and coming in with quick combos and moving a bit only to get in with a second set of combos. Look at Manuel Márquez, who has a skillful and measured backlash as he waits for you to create the opening, and look at Víctor Ortiz, who stops you with punches and forced starts.

All in all, your style will come down to your mindset, your level of proficiency with each technique, and your ability to put pieces together. Practice the techniques until you master them and work your new style in combat, take risks during combat.

Exactly how do you massage your breasts for best results?

Depending on the size and sensitivity of your breasts, you will choose different massage techniques. Before starting your routine, it is important to remember not to stretch or put undue pressure on your breasts, as this could damage the elasticity of your skin. Using creams or essential oils will also help prevent any friction during the massage.

If you are a woman who has sensitive breast skin, then it is important that you only perform the massages that are gentler. For those with less sensitive breasts, you can embark on a more vigorous massage routine, but should you feel any discomfort, stop immediately. The breast massage should be pleasant and relaxing in any circumstance.

The various massage methods will include gentle rubbing, squeezing, and kneading. All of these methods will result in increased blood flow in the breasts, as well as drainage of lymphatic fluids.

Many women like to massage their breasts after a bath or shower to take advantage of the heat and moisture in the skin. Warming the hands before massage is also very effective, as the additional heat energy can be beneficial to the breast tissue.

To get started, here are some massage techniques that you can implement right away.

Massage 1.

The first massage is done by placing the hands under the breasts. Now rub your breasts in a circular motion, thus moving your breasts around with your hands first in a motion towards your cleavage and then again in the opposite direction. This massage technique will increase blood flow to the breasts and is beneficial for the breast tissue. Some women enjoy using essential oils to promote lymphatic drainage, such as tea tree or chamomile, to relax.

Massage 2.

Our second massage is very effective in draining excess lymphatic fluids. With your fingertips, you’ll want to place them right on the outer nipple line and then make radial outward strokes toward the armpit area. Do not stretch the nipple during this massage and you should always be aware of the sensitive skin on the nipple during all massages. Whenever possible, refrain from stretching this skin in any direction.

Massage 3.

Finally, placing your palms on the lower outer portion of your breasts, you will want to do small circular motions without moving your skin over your breasts. These movements should be upwards, then towards the neckline and again downwards. Again, do not run your hands over the nipple, as this could cause a stretch.

It won’t be long before you start to feel a warm tingling sensation in your breast area. This is the increased blood flow that nourishes the tissue and will increase the drainage of toxins from the sinuses. To get the most out of your massage routine, it is important to do it every day.

Initially, you will notice an improvement only in the texture and tone of the skin, but over time you will also notice that the tissue firms up and many people have also witnessed an increase in breast size. If your breast massage routine is done in conjunction with breast exercises and herbal supplements, you will notice a much faster increase in size and improved contours.

Tiger Woods and other top professional golfers use a specific breathing method to relax their bodies and achieve a fluid golf swing.

You can easily do the same. But first, let’s do a quick test to see where you currently are.

In just a moment, I want you to take a deep breath.

And I want you to pay attention to what happens to your chest and stomach as you do it.

OK … do that now.

If you’re like 95% of all golfers, then your chest probably immediately expanded outward, while your stomach headed toward your spine.

If that’s the case, then you actually took a very shallow breath, not a deep one.

You would be classified as a “chest respirator”!

Try not to panic. I am trained to relieve you of this chronic condition.

Okay, but why should you care?

Less than optimal breathing (chest breathing) can cause:

o An increase in respiratory rate

o Increased tension in the neck muscles.

o Headaches

o Feelings of anxiety

o Increased stress

o Increased pain sensation

o Stiff and tired muscles

o Rigid and restricted joints

o Bad sleep patterns

o Bad circulation

or bad posture

o Inefficient movement patterns

Experiencing any of the above side effects means your golf game is going to suck. Or at least it won’t live up to its full potential.

On the other hand, proper breathing:

or elicits a relaxation response

o Provides an optimal amount of oxygen to your body

o Improves circulation

o Helps maintain healthy muscles (including back)

Let me be very clear about this:

The way you breathe will literally determine your body’s physiology, for better or for worse.

Do you still think this breathing thing is a no-brainer?

The good news is that with a little practice and awareness, you can reprogram your breathing techniques and reap the corresponding benefits.

Optimal breathing exercise

Phrase 1:

1. Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor.

2. Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest.

3. Breathe in slowly through your nose. Try to imagine the air going down to the lower part of the lungs (abdominal area). It can be helpful to imagine your abdomen as a balloon, and as you inhale, the balloon inflates. Don’t try to force your abdomen out; instead, simply allow the air of your inhalation to expand it.

4. Stop inhaling before the hand on your chest begins to move.

5. Hold your breath for 5 seconds.

6. Breathe out slowly through your nose or mouth. Use your hand to feel your “abdominal balloon” slowly deflate as your belly button moves toward your spine.

Do 10 or more repetitions. I recommend starting with this “tummy only” phase and continuing until it feels relatively natural and easy.

Phase 2:

Actually, the Phase 1 exercise was only 2/3 breathing. This is an improvement over chest breathing, but not quite optimal yet. Now we will integrate the upper third of your breathing capacity: the upper chest area.

1. Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor.

2. Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest.

3. Breathe in slowly through your nose. Try to imagine the air going down to the lower part of the lungs (abdominal area). It can be helpful to imagine your abdomen as a balloon, and as you inhale, the balloon inflates. Don’t try to force your abdomen out; instead, simply allow the air of your inhalation to expand it.

4. Instead of stopping the “inflation” in the upper abdominal area, allow the breath to continue into the upper lungs and make the chest rise.

5. Hold your breath for 5 seconds.

6. Breathe out slowly through your nose or mouth. The order of “deflation” should be the opposite of the “inflation” pattern. That is, the hand from the chest should fall first and then the hand from the abdomen.

Now that is a complete and optimal breath.

This may take a bit of practice, but it is worth the time and effort.

I would suggest spending five minutes in the morning, and again at night, just before bed, to master this technique. Once this technique feels quite natural on the ground, integrate it into your standing posture, for use on the field.

Now go find them, Tigre!

What is the proper method of disposing of kitty litter? If your cat isn’t litter-trained, the answer is simple: Wipe up the poop with tissue paper and wash it off, wipe the urine with more tissue paper, and rinse it off. But what do you do after your cat does his job in the litter box? Can you still get rid of it in the same way? Can cat litter be thrown away?

That depends on whether it’s pee or feces, and what type of kitty litter you are using. If you use litter for your cat’s litter box, it should not be thrown away. Although not much sand will stick to your cat’s poop, your toilet will eventually choke. The same goes for the other two main types of litter: clay cat litter and clumping cat litter. The plumber’s bill to unclog your pipes will screw you up.

If you use glass litter, which is made from silica gel, your cat litter removal job is a bit easier. Glass cat litter absorbs cat urine itself without clumping, so it can be disposed of in small amounts. It also doesn’t stick very much to cat poop, so you can flush it down the toilet too. However, it is still not advisable to do this regularly in the long term.

As for biodegradable cat litter, that depends. Some of them are made of quite large granules that can also clog pipes. Others are made of wood or sawdust and can pass without a problem. Still, if you have a septic tank, keep in mind that this material doesn’t necessarily degrade right away. We could be talking about years, which could make your septic tank quite full. Somehow the thought of used litter and cat poop pouring out of my clogged drains leaves me in a cold sweat.

Some manufacturers have started making cat litter that can be thrown away on calls for more comfort. Naturally, this disposable kitty litter costs more. To make the cat litter disposable, they use various biodegradable materials that are supposed to pass safely through the pipes. These new types of kitty litter won’t turn into a sludge that can clog sewer pipes, in theory. Some plumbers agree. In the course of their business, they have gone to homes where sewer pipes and plumbing were clogged by cat litter that can be flushed down the toilet. Or so said the restless and anguished occupant of the house. Who is lying here? I don’t know, but it is probably not advisable to flush large amounts of garbage down the toilet.

It is still better to dispose of most of your kitty litter in the previous way, either bagged with the rest of the garbage or carefully buried somewhere in the garden. In the garden, your cat’s urine and feces would make good fertilizer for lawns and flowers. Cat urine and feces can contain dangerous bacteria, so they should not be used to fertilize vegetables and fruit trees.

I must admit that a real disposable kitty litter would be very convenient when it is snowing or raining heavily. It would really simplify the disposal of kitty litter.

YOU ARE LISTENING?

Do most of us participate in PARALLEL conversations?

Example:

1st Speaker: I have a dog.

Second speaker: I also have a dog.

1st Speaker: My dog ​​is a Border Collie.

2nd Speaker: My dog ​​is a shepherd.

1st Speaker: My dog ​​is very intelligent like his owner.

2nd Speaker: My dog ​​is considered the most intelligent breed.

This is a side conversation where two people could be on separate planets. There is an exchange of information without any of the speakers actually listening to the other. There is no connection within this conversation.

We have been programmed to try to convince people that we “know how they feel” in almost any situation. As the speaker speaks, our computer mind performs a file search to find a story that compares to what the speaker is saying, so that we can tell a similar story. Then they will know that we “know how they feel.”

Unfortunately, don’t you think we’re missing out on this file search? We, who communicate in parallel conversations, are not actually listening while the other person is speaking. We are preparing what WE will say when the speaker breathes. We might even “finish” the speaker’s sentences because we think we already know what they are going to say and we want our turn to speak.

Sometimes we even interrupt the speaker to tell OUR story.

An example:

1st speaker: How are you?

Second speaker: Oh. I’m tired today.

1st speaker: Tired! You don’t know what fatigue is.

I’ve been so busy that I don’t have time to acknowledge how tired I am.

2nd Speaker: I went to the doctor … and …

1st Speaker: (Interrupts) Yes, I don’t have time to go to the doctor, I’m so busy.

2nd Speaker: (Sighs). Bye.

We resign ourselves to the fact that the other person is not listening and we try to get away from the one-sided conversation that the person is having with himself.

Side conversations are boring. There is no dialogue, rather each speaker is giving a monologue. Boredom creeps in and takes hold of us like a virus.

Not listening has become so automatic that it kills the relationship without you noticing.

That is why listening has been described as “the art of listening.”

Are you willing to become an artist?

This is the one million question:

What’s missing from side conversations?

What is missing is one of the most life-giving qualities of the relationship … CURIOSITY! Albert Einstein says: The important thing is not to stop questioning … Never lose a holy curiosity.

When we were children, our curiosity was insatiable. We ask “why” about almost everything. Our “why’s” were frequently greeted with impatience and we heard an exhausted “because, or because I said so” instead of an answer to our question. Keep your hands on you. Do not touch that. We were socialized to conform and stifle our natural vitality.

So how can we regain our curiosity?

It is simple, but it takes time and practice. How can we be willing to learn, relearn and, perhaps most importantly, UN-learn the automaticity of our programming? How can we practice the art of listening by developing curiosity?

What can curiosity do for our life? Curiosity can foster a sense of vitality and make life an adventure. Curiosity can unleash our natural curiosity about the mystery of life and inspire us to ask questions.

So how can we really LISTEN? How can we allow curiosity to take the lead? Are we willing to ask questions? Are we willing to get reacquainted with the best friends of curious people, what, when, why, who, where and how?

So now, look through the lens of curiosity with our original conversation where curiosity reigns and the relationship is nurtured.

1st Speaker: I have a dog.

Second speaker: Really? What kind of dog?

1st Speaker: My dog ​​is a Border Collie.

Second speaker: That’s a cool breed. How old is she?

1st speaker: She is 10 years old.

2nd Speaker: Where do you stay, inside or outside?

1st Speaker: Oh, both. He sleeps inside but loves to be outside.

2nd Speaker: When did you receive it?

1st Speaker: When I was only 8 weeks old.

2nd speaker: Why did you choose a Border Collie?

1st speaker: She was in an animal shelter and we fell in love with her. We didn’t really care about his race. Do you have any animals?

Can you feel the curiosity, presence, and art of listening exemplified by the second speaker? It’s about building a relationship in conversation rather than demanding self-centered attention.

Are you willing to give yourself the gift of listening to your friends, your family, your colleagues, the waiters in a restaurant, the acquaintances you meet at the grocery store, YOURSELF?

When you nurture your curiosity, are you willing to feel more alive than you’ve ever felt? Are you willing to let life become a game? An adventure?

The art of listening is a gift that you can give to each person you meet during the holidays. Well actually, you could give this gift every day to everyone, including yourself.

Are you willing?

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