1. Bullies will take any slight, real or imagined, and use it as a weapon against their victims. Another favorite trick is when a bully makes up a crime and accuses the victim of committing it.

2. Bullies are convincing liars and are experts at getting innocent people to do their dirty work. Often the innocent party does not see the manipulation.

3. Bullies will form alliances with anyone who helps them achieve their goals. Later, they can turn on their former ally in the blink of an eye.

4. When confronted, a harasser may tell those in power that their experiences are fake. Just as you can’t prove (in a one-on-one situation) that what the bully says is false, the bully can’t prove that what you said is false either. It is an indefensible position.

5. The purpose of the aggressor is to cause psychological damage and mental suffering.

6. If you’re dealing with a bully in the workplace, know this: In over 75% of situations, the person being harassed leaves. No matter how much you love or value your work, a bully is not worth fighting. The psychological damage can be devastating over time.

7. It is important to know that a stalker is not a normal human being. They get excited about the fight, and anything you do to fight back is fuel for the bully. They love conflict and want it to continue.

8. In many posts you will discover that the bully suffers from one or more types of personality disorders.

9. The effects of bullying are much worse than most people realize, especially in childhood.

10. The bully has a win-at-all-costs mentality. I ended up dealing with a thug in Mexico who stole my damage deposit. I defended myself.

At one point, the bully was chasing me with three lawyers. When it came time to agree to give me my money back, he sent me a legal document, which was full of blackmail and extortion. I refused to sign it, and this angered the bully.

Around the same time, I learned that the only way to win was to lose, which meant walking away and never coming back. I did that, and the stalker yelled at me via email for months, before quitting. A year later, he came back and tried to lure me back into the fight. I ignored him and he finally gave up.

The bottom line is this, if you want to recover from the trauma of bullying, you MUST cut the bully out of your life. If he doesn’t, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to recover.

When the stalker is no longer in your life

For some people, getting the bully out of their lives is enough and they will begin to recover. Others have been traumatized by ongoing bullying that has caused psychological injury, sometimes known as PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder.

If this has happened to you, you know you are in trouble. Fortunately, help exists. I work with Hamish Bayston, a trainer who specializes in working with victims of bullying. With his coaching, you can remove the trauma of bullying from your life, change your limiting beliefs, stop obsessive thinking, and start living a normal life, free from the trauma of bullying.